DISCLAIMER:

This custody arrangement is somewhat new and I recognize can only be used in special circumstances. I know there are many instances in which it won't work. For example, if your ex is immature, jerkish, a liar, bat shit crazy or just all around such a dumb ass that they must be avoided for your own sanity, then forget about it!

The Players

Not Really what we look like but as close as I can find.


Stanley:  Stanley is sweet.  Most of the time.  He is a scientist.  And that is all I'm going to say about that.
like this but older and not as cute.


The Boy:  12 years-old and very bright.  Stanley had smart sperm.  But unlike Stanley, the boy is very verbal and is emotionally available and if we don't screw him up, will turn out really nice one day.  He loves science and nature and animals.  When asked how he knows so much he will say that it is because he watches National Geographic Channel instead of the Kardashians.  True Dat.

like this but not a ginger.


Jumping Bean:  10 year-old girl child recently diagnosed with ADHD,  although I've always known it.  Precious, witty, very funny and absolutely never sits still.  She jumps from the sofa to the ottoman to the loveseat and then puts it in reverse. This child is exhausting.

Pretty close depiction but if it was real it would be blurry from movement

Merlot:  Really that is as good a name as any.  Girl Child 7 years-old.  Conceived when I was 40 and we were done having children, but apparently we were to drunk to remember that at the time.  She is very responsible and may be president one day.   She says the funniest things. 

scary similar



Cuckoo Momma:  well you know me already and I already told you what I look like.

But much older and blondish. We don't look a thing alike.


Bad Dog: For Real.  She steels your stuff and runs with it under the dining room table every chance she gets.  Don't let the face fool you.