I KNOW YOU ALL ARE THINKING

How can you spend so much time with Stanley together in the nest?

Maybe you should have stayed married.

No.

Stanley and I can be in the same room in the nest when the children are also in that room.  Sometimes Stanley and I even have real conversations that don't include the children, about work and money and plans for the week, etc, but the kids are always in the room.  Otherwise when Stanley and I need to discuss things it is via text message and very occasionally on the phone. 


If the one who is 'off' decides to stay in the nest overnight (which the other allows because the extra set of hands is so awesome in the morning) basically as soon as the kids head up to bed, we retreat and don't see each other again. 


For instance, if Stanley is on, when it is bedtime, he handles bedtime and I give them kisses and go to my room. And shut the door. 

There are a lot of shut doors in the nest.


  

Our marriage was fucked up.
Not conflictual but we did not communicate well.  

Obviously

Apparently, my very presence made Stanley clam up.  

He said in therapy that I was hard to communicate with because, and I quote, "when she asks me a question, she expects like an answer".  

NO!!  YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT STANLEY!

Apparently I am really hard to talk to.

Although I talk to people for a living.  Seriously, people tell me their issues and I help them process their thoughts and feelings, and I get paid for doing it.

Like this but not nekkid

I used to say that I wish I had a dime for every time I said to Stanley,

"are you alright?"  and he would answer, "hummph".  Like a caveman.

And I would think "whatever".

And he would know I was frustrated and ignore it.

Later, I would try to talk to him in bed 

(when he was giving me the eye like a
stupid libidious pet rock)

  and say things like

"I'm unhappy"

or

"I need you to engage more"

or

I would bring out the really big hammer and say

"My next husband is going to talk to me"

to which he would look like a stupid but less libidious pet rock

and turn over and start snoring.

In therapy he said that he thought I was kidding when I said those things.

NO!!  YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT STANLEY! 

and I would start fishing in my purse for a brick.

So, NO.

We did not need to stay married.  

When you start carrying bricks in your purse it is time to call it a day.

Purse Brick